Ep. 19: The Woman Who Changed Her Life
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At 55, Deedee Moscoe looked around one day and realized—her life needed a reboot. Caring for her aging parents left her without any time for her career—or herself. Deedee’s journey to remake her life is chronicled in a documentary called Hack Your Age, airing on Zoomer Media’s Vision TV. It’s also emblematic of the moment we’re in, as society returns to the next normal. With host Shaun Francis, Deedee explores a typically human dilemma with extraordinary honesty and humour.
Links related to this episode:
ZNews’ segment on Deedee and the documentary: How Do You Hack Your Age?
Highlight from the Hack Your Age documentary on Nancy the Superager
Highlight from the Hack Your age doc: Deedee realizes acupuncture hurts
Please subscribe and rate us on your favourite podcast platform. Eat Move Think host Shaun Francis is Medcan’s CEO and chair. Follow him on Twitter @shauncfrancis. Connect with him on LinkedIn. And follow him on Instagram @shauncfrancis. Eat Move Think is produced by Ghost Bureau.
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The Woman Who Changed Her Life final web transcript
Christopher Shulgan: This is Christopher Shulgan, executive producer of Eat Move Think. Sometime ago, a documentary producer approached Shaun with an interesting opportunity. They were tracking the story of a woman, Deedee Moscoe, aged 55, who looked around one day and realized her life needed a reboot. She was caring for her two 89-year-old parents, working on her career, mothering her three children. Her mom's dementia was growing worse. Something had to change. So Deedee began a journey to remake her life, to focus on her own wellness for a change. Her efforts are chronicled in a documentary called Hack Your Age, which is airing on Zoomer Media's Vision TV. We'll post a link to the documentary on our webpage.
Christopher Shulgan: Part of Deedee's journey happens at Medcan, and as we got to know Deedee we realized that her story is emblematic of the position we're in as a society, as were navigating these uncertain times and looking around and trying to figure out how are we going to redesign our lives?
Christopher Shulgan: Shaun's conversation with Deedee is a delight. But before we get to that, we'd like to talk about consumer confidence. The Canadian economy is stalled, even aside from pandemic-related lockdown, in part because people don't know whether it's safe to enter a given establishment. How do you know if the grocery store, the hardware, your mechanic, is operating safely when it comes to things like social distancing or hand washing? So as part of his efforts to get the economy going again, our host, Shaun Francis, co-founded something called the POST Promise, supported by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the federal government, as well as Toronto Mayor John Tory and many different business organizations, including the Retail Council of Canada, Restaurants Canada and the Canadian Federation of Independent Business. The POST Promise is a voluntary commitment to five basic virus-mitigation strategies. Once an employer has made the promise, it affixes the POST Promise logo in a prominent position in the workplace as a signal that the business is safe to enter for customers and employees. Learn more at POSTPromise.com. We'll also post a link at our website, eatmovethinkpodcast.com, to the webinar that Shaun did this week about the POST Promise for the Toronto Region Board of Trade. Now, for Shaun's conversation with Deedee Moscoe.
Shaun Francis: Welcome, Deedee Moscoe, to Eat Move Think. So why don't we start off with maybe talking about how you began the journey, right? When did you realize that potentially you wanted to change some of your health behaviours, and seek out potentially some better outcomes for yourself.
Deedee Moscoe: I think it was a combination of two things. One was dealing with the rapid aging of my parents, and watching them deteriorate very quickly. My father was a huge athlete his entire life, and then about 85, he started having heart attacks and he's completely deaf. It was a genetic hearing loss, but he got progressively—his hearing deteriorated very quickly. And you're just watching them age so bad. And I'm like, "Well, how can they stop this?" And then at the same time because of the stress of dealing with them, I started getting some weird things happening, where I ended up within about two months getting something called iritis, which is an inflammation in your eye. You know, at first I thought I had just banged it against something, I didn't know what it was. I ended up going to an eye doctor and had to be put on steroids drops. And at the same time, I started getting some weird skin irritations, that after seeing a doctor, they called it idiopathic, which also means they don't know what it's causing. They think both of these things are caused by, like, high levels of stress. And, you know, how without turning to vices, can you try and decrease stresses that you have control over that might, you know, improve the quality going forward, and also allow me to handle the stress of you know, parents, family, working, and still hopefully age okay, that I don't end up in the same situation that my parents are in.
Shaun Francis: That's fascinating that you witnessing your parents ageing was A) stressful; and B) triggering to this journey. Can we go back a bit and talk about—I mean, you said your dad was an athlete. Was that the same as your mom as well? How healthy were they as younger people?
Deedee Moscoe: They are complete opposites. My father had great eating habits his whole life. He was a huge tennis player, golfer, squash player, baseball, bowling. Like, half the time he wouldn't be home at night because he was out playing sports. His GP has said the reason that he's even alive today was because he was such a great athlete his entire life. Never smoked, never drank. My mother was the complete opposite. Had eating disorders her whole life, was a binge dieter, never exercised a day in her life, was a smoker for 65 years. How the two got together I've no idea, because they really were on complete different spectrums.
Shaun Francis: And how did that manifest with both of them as they aged? Did they both have similar health issues? Did your mother decline more rapidly?
Deedee Moscoe: My mom, honestly, I don't think saw a doctor until she turned 80. And quoting her GP, 80's the expiry date. And at that time, things got bad very quickly. They went to China. She came back because of her smoking. Had—what is it, OCPD? Her breathing. She had to be put on puffers. And then after that it's been a string of things for her: gallbladder, she ended up with cancer on kidney, we had to get that removed. It's grown back, and last May was when it was sitting on her sciatic nerve, and we had to go in and do 10 days of radiation. But up until 80? Like, nothing. How she was the picture perfect health person, I have no idea. And then my dad, he had a heart attack when he was 80. Basically, all four arteries were 95 percent clogged. He'd been playing tennis the day before, and was feeling chest pains. One of those things, went in, they thought they might be able to put a stent in, and basically they didn't let him out of the hospital for three days until he had to have open heart surgery and had four bypasses put in.
Shaun Francis: And we're your parents overweight? Or your ...
Deedee Moscoe: My dad, never.
Shaun Francis: Never.
Deedee Moscoe: My mom moderately. I wouldn't say obese or anything. But she was always carrying about 40 pounds more than she should have.
Shaun Francis: Yeah. And now, I mean, you describe your mom having cancer, your dad had the heart surgery. Are they declining at the same pace right now?
Deedee Moscoe: No. Unfortunately, my mom also has hereditary dementia. And I think that because we're seeing that progressing so quickly—it's very hard to watch your body fall apart and have your faculties, or is it better to lose your faculties and not realize what's going on? I'm not sure. But both are not really happy alternatives.
Shaun Francis: Yeah, neither are good. And that must be hard on your dad too.
Deedee Moscoe: Very hard. Yeah, to watch that and, you know, for a man at 89 to have to be the caregiver. You know, he didn't expect to be in this situation.
Shaun Francis: And you become stressed, rightly so because of this, because we haven't figured out—I mean, taking care of aging parents is incredibly difficult. What was your life like? How—was it just dealing with your parents? Was it just a combination of things?
Deedee Moscoe: It starts off slowly. Like, you don't realize how much time it's taking until you almost are having a breakdown. You know, you keep thinking if you juggle the balls fast enough, you can handle them all. And then all of a sudden you start dropping one here and dropping one there. And so is there a specific point in time where it's just like I completely had a breakdown? Not 100 percent, but I had to put things in place because my husband and I were taking our, like, 30th anniversary trip, and we were going to go visit my daughter in New Zealand. And we knew it was going to be an adventure trip. So we were doing five days hiking through the Milford Track. We were doing ocean water kayaking for four days. We were doing glacier hiking. So, you know, again, trying to get myself in shape for that, I just didn't have the time. And I had to put everything in place because my parents were still in their house at this time. And it was getting dangerous, because it was a townhouse, there was all stairs, their balance was leaving. And I was going to be gone for five weeks. So I tried to get health care in place, and I tried to make sure that there was people to check on them. Went away for the five weeks, it was an adventure of a lifetime. I was not physically prepared for a lot of it. But we got through it okay.
Deedee Moscoe: When I came back, nobody had told me that my mom had fallen. And two weeks later after the fall was when I came home, and I went up to see her. And her face was black and blue. And I was so shocked and so angry. And I was like, "Did she go to the hospital?" "No, she said she was fine." This is my father. I'm like, "Dad, look at her. This is not fine. Like, she could have had a blood clot, she could have had a head concussion. Like, what are you talking about?" He goes, "Well, I asked her a few times. She didn't want to go and I didn't feel like fighting with her." And nobody else thought, oh, maybe there's a problem here. Maybe she should be at the hospital.
Deedee Moscoe: At this point, it was just—I was beside myself. To come home from a trip of a lifetime, and realize how compromised their living had become was terrifying. And it was at that point, I knew that we had to make some drastic changes. because I physically couldn't go on like this, and looking at this, none of them were making coherent decisions anymore. Either of them. And how do you live like that? Like, how would you take that responsibility that you didn't put the things in place that you could have?
Deedee Moscoe: I had already taken away my mother's driver's licence, and she hated me forever for that one. But at some point, somebody's got to be the bad guy. Because, like, what if she had driven her car and killed somebody? Could I know that she was losing—with the dementia increasing and had done nothing? It would have been easier not to do anything, but I don't think I could ever have lived with myself. So I think at that point, that I knew coming home that I was not dealing with this properly, and apparently nobody else was either. I had to make my life important, and figure out how to put things in place in order to get everybody through this.
Shaun Francis: And do you have other family members helping you?
Deedee Moscoe: I have a brother, but he lives way downtown. And my parents are up north. And, you know, he helps when he can, but he's got four kids and he's busy and, you know, my kids are at least in their 20s, so realistically I am more flexible than him.
Shaun Francis: Yes.
Deedee Moscoe: But listen, you pick your battles, right?
Shaun Francis: Yeah. And then you knew it was taking a toll of course not just on your parents, but on you as well.
Deedee Moscoe: On me, on my relationship with my kids, like, everybody was paying the price for it. I was driving up there, like, four times a week, trying just to put out fires. And, you know, every time you try and bring in a caregiver, "No, I don't like her. No, I don't want her. No, I can cook dinners." I think my dad was, like, living on potatoes. It was like, "No, you guys need some help here." And then the dementia just got to a point where it was not even an option anymore to keep them in their house.
Shaun Francis: I mean, this is sadly such a common story.
Deedee Moscoe: Yeah.
Shaun Francis: And I don't think anyone has figured out the optimal way to deal with this, nor has our government.
Deedee Moscoe: Yeah, for years. Like, you think this is something that just happens in six months, but it doesn't. It's a very slow progression, where first you're at the doctor with this one, and then you're at the doctor with that one, and then all of a sudden, this one's in emergency and you got to get somebody to take care of your mom because, you know, she's in the house by herself now with dementia. That's not fun. So you're scrambling, you're always scrambling to try and keep them safe. But on your parents' end, all you're getting is a fight. Like, it's worse than your kids because your kids, you're the parent and you're supposed to be able to make these decisions and just say, "You know, it's my way or the highway." But with your parents, it's hard. Like, everything.
Deedee Moscoe: And my dad's an easygoing guy and my mom is not. She's a piece of work. But constantly, when you know you're trying to do the best and it's becoming a safety issue at this point, and all you're being told is that you're the bad guy and you're making my life miserable, and you're a horrible daughter, and I can't talk to you anymore. And at some point, it would be easier just to say "Okay, I'm done," and walk away from it and just hope for the best. Hope they're not going to wipe out down on the floor. Hopefully they're not going to kill somebody driving, and make it not my responsibility. But that's not who I am, and I just knew that it was wrong. Like, you just can't leave them in this situation.
Deedee Moscoe: So the turning point was my mom needed radiation 10 days in a row, and nobody else was stepping up to the plate. And I couldn't do it. So I just said, "If you guys are staying in this house, I'm walking away." And I just said, "I will not go to doctor's appointments with you, I will not take care of you anymore. I will not do your bills anymore. I'm not going to arrange for anything anymore, because I physically and mentally cannot do this anymore." And my dad realized that if I wasn't going to be the one to do this anymore, that they really couldn't stay where they were. So within about three days, I had to make arrangements to move them into a suite at Sunrise. And I don't think my mother talked to me for about two weeks, she was so angry. And literally for a year, all she's done is cry that she hates it there. She hates it there, she wants to go home.
Deedee Moscoe: And, you know, at a certain point once they were there, I knew they were at least in a safe environment, so I could move on. And, you know, they both ended up in the hospital at least three times. But a nurse comes and checks them once a day, I have somebody giving them their medication twice a day, they get all their food provided for. So all of a sudden, like, I could go away and have peace of mind, and not have to be worried that something was going to happen to them every time I would go away for a weekend or, you know, be out of touch somewhere. And it was interesting that all of a sudden, you don't realize how absorbing it was of your entire lifestyle until all of a sudden you get it back. And it's very surreal, you realize that, like, literally eight years have been slowly worn away. It's like erosion. It happens so gradual that you don't see what actually happens at the end, and can you make it up again? Can you make changes to try and get back to where your life was?
Shaun Francis: So let's talk about your journey for a moment. So you're getting stressed, it's manifesting into some health conditions. You obviously decide you want to do something about it. What do you do?
Deedee Moscoe: I've always been able to be self-motivating, which is—I'm very lucky that way. But I knew that I wasn't me anymore. And I'm not one to ever be depressed. I'm usually a super positive person. I'm the person people call when they're depressed to know that they'll call and I'm generally a very happy person. I knew I had to do some changes, because I was just exhausted. And I was just, I wouldn't say depressed, I was just so tired. And I just knew that I couldn't go on with it anymore. And so I guess about the same time that I did put my parents into their home was the same time that all of a sudden I had time for me again. And at that point, you have to make choices. And I do want to be around, I want to be skiing until I'm 80. How do I make that happen? How do I make sure that you can put the pieces in the right place to try and get you down that road?
Deedee Moscoe: So you talk to your girlfriends, you talk to other people, because I'm not the only one who's going through this. So a couple of my friends are members at Medcan. They had suggested to go to Medcan and get everything—you know, find out your baseline, find out where you are on the spectrum of are you healthy? You know, are you a horrible—like, are your habits terrible? And you know, at the end of the day, you're the only one who can make the changes if it's important or not to you. But at least find out where you are starting, and then start to make some decisions of what you're willing to do and what you're not willing to do.
Shaun Francis: So you booked yourself into Medcan?
Deedee Moscoe: Yep.
Shaun Francis: And then why don't you describe that experience? Was it what you expected it would be?
Deedee Moscoe: No. You know what? The medical system in Canada is great if you're healthy. If you're sick, it gets very complicated very quickly. And having dealt with so much of it with my parents, I think if it's very dangerous, they can get you in very quickly, but if it's elective, you know, you're put on a queue and you're waiting. And I think that stresses so much of the health system that a lot of times, you know, doctors and nurses are so strung out and just you can't blame them. They're booked every minute of the day. And they're respected. To see how hard they work, you have to appreciate. But when you came to Medcan, it was a very happy, chill—you know, people were happy to be with you. People were, like, so supportive in trying to find out, you know, everything they can about you. It was very positive. Everybody would tell you exactly why you were here. And basically, had time for you, where usually you go in and, you know, everybody's just rushed. "Oh, here's your blood test, your urine test, and I'll follow up with you if anything's wrong." And, you know, that's usually how it goes. But I just found that the degree of care and actual interest in you as a person and why you're here was something I really wasn't expecting.
Shaun Francis: Well, as the CEO, that's gratifying to hear. We certainly try. But it's always great to see the proof points. So why don't you describe, you know, was there anything that Medcan told you that was surprising?
Deedee Moscoe: Well, the dietitian actually looked at my diet and she actually said it was pretty good. But I was eating too much cold cuts, nitrates. You know, I try and focus more on the proteins, some of them probably not the healthiest. I loved cashews, you know, apparently eating two cups of those a day was not good. You know, cut down on the drinking. I love my wine. I can't lie about that. And the exercise I found really interesting. They wanted me to do more interval training. You know, as you age, I would always try and combine my social life with my workouts. So it ended up being more just meeting friends, going for long walks, you know, through ravines or whatever. But as one of my friends who's a chiropractor once said, "Deedee, my 85 year old grandmother can walk, okay? That's not exercise." And I would argue and say "No, I think it's exercise." And then Medcan actually informed me that no, it's really not. At a certain age, you have to start doing interval training, and how important weight training is, and things that you probably knew were right, but bottom line is most people are lazy, and you have to put an effort into that.
Shaun Francis: Absolutely. And you describe yourself walking over the course of your life, but had you done high-intensity or interval training or ...
Deedee Moscoe: So when I was in my 40s, we're a big ski and snowboard family, and I've got three kids who are all in their 20s now. And they've all been skiing since they were, like, two years old. So whenever we would head out to mountains, you know, they'd be doing top to bottoms, and basically they'd all be waiting for me. And the longer they'd have to wait for me, they came up with a song that kind of went, like, "Ho hum. Where is mom? She's a little bit slow." It kind of went on like that for quite a while. So every year, usually around November, I'd think ski season's coming again, I've got to start getting in shape. So I at least had an incentive to get into shape. But honestly, from, like, April until November, I would just golf or, you know, walk or do whatever. So I got very lazy over the summer. But in my 40s I did do, like, sprints, and I would do a relay. So one year, I did the open water swim, and one year I did the 10K run. So, you know, periodically. Always a tennis player, but in intervals. And I found kids are always a good excuse to be lazy too.
Shaun Francis: No, for sure. You get busy and like most people, I think fitness does happen in spurts.
Deedee Moscoe: But you know, being adopted, also watching this, I know genetically I was not going to have any of this. At least I hope not. And I think that was probably the scariest thing for me going to Medcan, because I knew that one of the components was an option of having genetic testing done. But when you don't know your genes, and you're given an opportunity to find out, I've been hesitant about it my entire life. Like, I've never done any of the ancestry.com or, like, any of that stuff. And it was really my kids who just said, "You know what, Mom? Science and technology are moving so quickly, that it's almost selfish of you not to find out what genetics you have, because if you do have something that we may have inherited, things may move quickly enough that we might be able to have preventative medicine for something that we know of beforehand. And for you not to do it is selfish." And that's why I decided that I would do it.
Deedee Moscoe: And I'll tell you, I did not sleep very well the night before those test results were coming back. It was like, what are they going to tell me? Do I have the markers for Parkinson's? Do I have, you know, a degenerative eye disease? Do I—like, who knows? Like, there's so many things you can start freaking yourself out about. And really, I had been fairly healthy my whole life but, you know, blink of an eye, all of a sudden you hear of a person who's also been healthy and they have ovarian cancer, and then a year later they're dead. So those are markers that you were terrified to be told that yes, you have these and, you know, start looking out for it because it could be coming your way. So yeah, that was not a good night's sleep.
Shaun Francis: Even when we find one risk factor, we sometimes find, you know, new genes that counteract the risk in a positive way. So I've always looked at it as a positive thing to do. Though it can be, you know, like you said, it—if you discover you are at high risk, you have the opportunity to do something about it. But on the other hand, it will raise your anxiety. So Deedee you're stressed, run ragged, you're dealing with your parents. You decide you need to go get an annual physical, figure out where you're at. Did you try anything else leading up to that? Any other sorts of analysis?
Deedee Moscoe: Oh yeah. So there were a couple of things that we also tried that were quite interesting. So I ended up going to do Eastern medicine, which included acupuncture. And I call it a brew. So the idea with Eastern medicine is to heal things from the inside out. Not like, you know, for the skin thing or steroids for my eye, they think a lot of your stress is internalized. So they gave me this drink that I had to drink for, like, six weeks. I have no idea what was in it. But it did help with the hot flashes, and it did calm me down quite a bit. It did take away some of the inflammation of my skin irritations. Was it psychosomatic? Was there something there? The acupuncture did help quite a bit with the sleeping, which I was quite surprised about, but what nobody did tell you is acupuncture is really—it hurts! They stick a needle in, and then if you don't jump he, like, twists it until you do. And I just—like, I guess somebody would have told you that. But no, that was a surprise.
Shaun Francis: It's not a massage.
Deedee Moscoe: No, no, no. Not at all
Shaun Francis: And did you try any other sort of fitness remedies, or ...
Deedee Moscoe: I've got a Peloton. And my kids all took a vote that I'd use it six times and it would become a clothes hanger. So just to prove them wrong, I've now done about 30 rides, and I'm doing quite a few of the weight training classes with my daughter. Since we've been stuck home together, she's really been a motivator. And for me, I think making plans to do something with somebody and settling on a schedule has made this a bit more tolerable, because you know at three o'clock, okay, we're going to do an upper body. And, you know, then you can get on with your day. I've also started doing a lot of my hobbies. Like, I'm a big knitter and I make jewellery and I love decorating and doing all kinds of things like that. I've now found I'm making a priority to do things that give me pleasure.
Shaun Francis: And that's really interesting. Do you find that that has been positive for your health or your mental health?
Deedee Moscoe: 100 percent. Like, my daughter got paint by numbers, just to waste some time because, like, I had nothing else to do. And I found it really just calming just to sit there and just paint. It was a very fulfilling, calming thing. So, like, I'm not a yoga person, I always kind of get bored. So I think you have to find things that you enjoy to do that you need to fulfil things that you're missing.
Shaun Francis: And you talked about the high-intensity training. Is that part of what you do on a Peloton?
Deedee Moscoe: So yeah, like, I can't do the long rides. I find sometimes they hurt as opposed to be beneficial. So I've gotten into a lot of what they call the interval trainings where, you know, for two or three minutes, they get your heart rate up really high. And then you'll do weights with your arms or something. So I'm actually quite enjoying that. And now that the weather's finally nice out, we're getting to golfing a lot, and we go hiking mountains quite a bit up in Collingwood. So I'll hike up, like, Georgian peaks or I'll hike up a trail, and that's a good two hour up and down and also getting your heart rate up.
Shaun Francis: Do you feel, since having your physical, that you're more committed to your health routine?
Deedee Moscoe: 100 percent. I think it's really easy to say, "Oh, I'll just do it tomorrow." And then tomorrow comes and you get busy with something else. So I think, like, if you actually—for me anyway, if it's on the calendar, and I've blocked off that time, I've now made it a priority.
Shaun Francis: Early on in the documentary, you mentioned that when you're on the latter side of 50, you know you're on the downslope. Do you still feel that way?
Deedee Moscoe: Well, I am. [laughs] I mean, numbers don't lie. I'm technically on 57.
Shaun Francis: I know 50, but I'm asking ...
Deedee Moscoe: Yeah, but you know what? You can look at it as a negative or positive. So I just said, you know what? I see where my parents were at 80. And if that's supposed to be the expiration date, if I can have the quality of life, you know, up to 85, that's great. But I think once I'm looking at where the quality of life gets really horrible, do you still want to be in really great shape and just, like, keep living, not the quality you want? I don't know. That's a decision that I may get to make or may not get to make. But at this stage, if I can do everything to maybe, you know, hope that I do have a better quality going forward, then I think it's worth the effort.
Shaun Francis: I mean, I think we want to have the highest quality for as long as possible, but that does take investment.
Deedee Moscoe: Mm-hmm. It does. It takes work.
Shaun Francis: It takes work. Deedee, you went through eight years of high stress dealing with your parents, and then a year ago you put your parents in Sunrise, the long-term care facility, and also took control of your health. What's it like now for you versus a year ago?
Deedee Moscoe: For me, it's better. For them, they don't think it's better, but it's safer. And I think that's so stressful for them because they're completely isolated. You know, especially my mom who really can't figure out the difference between the cell phone and the remote control for the TV. You can't even call her unless she's got a nurse or somebody there who has an iPad or something to FaceTime. You can't communicate with her now at all. And my dad is also—he's not allowed to leave the building. They're not allowed to leave their room. And, you know, the isolation I'm thinking is more going to be a trigger for depression and all kinds of other things that, at their stage in life, you know, it's hard enough being where they are, is having this now on top of it.
Shaun Francis: Yeah, well, that's one of the terrible things about COVID and how we're dealing with it, which is on the one hand—you know, I interviewed an epidemiologist on this show, or a few actually, but one of them talked about how there's so many other health conditions brought on by the lockdown, right? So on the one hand, of course you don't want your parents to become infected, yet the isolation itself can actually be very destabilizing for their health.
Deedee Moscoe: Long story. Both of them ran away. [laughs] I know! So I get a call on the Monday night, both of them have gone rogue. My mother ran away to a different seniors' home. She thought it was a nice hotel. My dad just also didn't social distance and he got busted. So on the same day, I'm called—it's like being called to the principal.
Shaun Francis: It's amazing how you go from being the child to the parent.
Deedee Moscoe: And the saddest thing is they both knew they broke the rules, and they did it. So you know what, though? My mom had just had it, and I think this was her last, you know, throwing down the gauntlet of control that she had, and she was like, "You know what? Screw them all. I'm out of here." And she just left the building.
Shaun Francis: Did she just walk out?
Deedee Moscoe: Yeah. Took her purse, took her jacket. I don't know how nobody stopped her. I think they just thought that, like, she hadn't literally left the apartment for almost a year because she hated being there so much. And then all of a sudden, they must have thought she was a visitor or something, I don't know. Just left the building. So I give her some credit that she's still such a pitbull. And still to the bottom—like, as long as she could, she was like, "Screw them all. I'm out of here."
Shaun Francis: Yeah, you can't blame her.
Deedee Moscoe: I caught dad three times. Like, "Dad, where are you?" "I need to get a haircut." "No, you're not allowed out." Well, they just don't get it, you know? You're just like, no, they're rogue. It's like, "No, you can't do this!"
Shaun Francis: Don't tell an 89 year old what to do.
Deedee Moscoe: Oh, I've had three talks and, like, he really doesn't care. Golfing has opened up, and he doesn't understand why he can't play golf. If everybody else in Ontario now can play golf, all he wants to do is go play nine holes somewhere. So we're gonna have to have a talk.
Shaun Francis: You can't blame him.
Deedee Moscoe: No, he's like ...
Shaun Francis: He's doing his own risk adjustment. He's like, "I don't know how much I have left, but it's gonna be with a golf club in my hand."
Deedee Moscoe: 100 percent. And you know what? If I was in that position at 89, I can't say I'd be any different.
Shaun Francis: What have you learned from the overall journey?
Deedee Moscoe: Aging kind of sucks. That much I did learn. I find that my quality of life is much better. I'm able to take on a couple of new clients for work. I'm trying to work out at least four times a week I'd say, depending on different things, but at least Pelotoning once, hiking once, still going for walks with my girlfriends. So, you know, now going from maybe trying to juggle everything and getting one exercise in a week, I'm trying to get in at least four. I'm sleeping much better. But I would say more than just being afraid to age, that you really do have the power, if you want to make the choices, to do things to help yourself to age hopefully more gracefully and with better quality. And you do get to make those choices. I think it's easier to say, you know, oh, it's because of something or I just don't have time. Or, you know, that means it's not a priority and you're not a priority. But now that I do have extra time to myself, I'm making decisions to do things that are beneficial to me, beneficial to my family, and trying to do things that I enjoy while I can.
Shaun Francis: Deedee, thanks very much for sharing your story. I know it's been a long journey for you, and the stories about your parents and what you've been dealing with really speak to me. And it's also inspirational just to hear how you've taken control of your life, the journey getting there, and how it's benefitted you both mentally and physically, especially during this time of COVID. And your sense of humour about the whole situation really resonates with me, and I know it will with our listeners. So thank you for sharing something so intimate. And I know everyone will look forward to seeing the documentary.
Deedee Moscoe: Great. Enjoyed it. Thanks, guys.
Christopher Shulgan: That's a wrap for this episode of Eat Move Think. We'll post links and highlights on the website at eatmovethinkpodcast.com, including a link to the Hack Your Age website. Eat Move Think is produced by Ghost Bureau. Senior producer is Russell Gragg. Remember to rate and subscribe to Eat Move Think on your favourite podcast platform. Follow Shaun on Twitter and Instagram @shauncfrancis—that's Shaun with a U—and Medcan @medcanlivewell. We'll be back soon with a new episode examining the latest in health and wellness.